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Journal Entry: Tue Jun 23, 2015, 6:17 AM


I decided I was going to set up my own online store and it was just taking forever. So instead, I've decided to upload all the products to my DA account as premium content. Another lengthy process - but somewhat more reliable and not as time consuming. But I've hundreds of tubes and hundreds of backgrounds that are just sitting on my external drive waiting for something to be done with them.

Yes, I could just pack them up and upload them, but I want my supporters/followers to be able to pick and choose. Nothing worse than having to buy an entire pack when all you want is one image.

And thus, here I am, slaving over my computer and packing up individual stock items ready for uploading. You'll notice that some cost more  :points: than others - this is purely down to size, useability, post-production etc

There'll be plenty more to add over the next few weeks, so I apologise if I end up spamming your message centres. We have to suffer for our art though right?


Here is a collection of some of my favourite pieces of art found here on DA.

 Cemetery Children by ArtofMadameGrotesque Relic by jflaxman I've Got You Under My Skin by StarsColdNight Deep thoughts by MoonZaphire The Guardian by Wesley-Souza E-book Raine Storm by MirellaSantana Lonely Street by robhas1left Hexe by Celtica-Harmony Ride in a Dream by Doucesse Road of Life by JennyLe88 Enchanted by Birdsatalcatraz .: T h i r s T :. by J-u-d-a-s Unleashed by LevanaTempest Le Baiser by MelieMelusine Master Of Puppets by DarkDevil16 an Elegy of Fire by SaschaKhan <da:thumb id="528456538"/> Wish Tree by VityaR83 darkness at the edge of town by RadoJavor The Secret Garden II by nina-Y Medicine by Gedogfx Witch 2 By Cathleentarawhiti-d8jasiv by vicky1583 Mantra immortality by saritaangel07

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Journal Entry: Tue Apr 28, 2015, 4:53 AM


In my last journal I mentioned the possibility of opening my own online store to sell my digital backgrounds and tubes. Today I've taken the first step in accomplishing that goal. I used to be a vendor at when it was open and I loved the fact that backgrounds were sold individually. I've decided that I'll be adopting the same idea for my own store. All of my exclusive and premium backgrounds will, eventually, be available to purchase individually through my online store.

There will be new backgrounds, new tubes and a whole host of exclusive freebies. The exclusive freebies will be available through my store only, as I'll not be submitting them elsewhere.

Obviously, with real life commitments and other distractions, this may very well take a while. Not to mention the packaging up of all my individual files, uploading them, typing descriptions, organising layouts etc. I do know that there'll be no waiting to access downloadable files. That once payment is cleared, files will be available to download from the customer account area. I'm lucky enough to have a server with unlimited bandwidth and a hefty amount of storage ;)

Prices will start from as little as $0.25 USD and the maximum will probably be in the range of $5 USD. There'll be no shipping costs (duh!) and all payments will be routed through the secure servers over at PayPal.

I've also, in my infinte wisdom, created a commercial use scrapbook license. Once purchased, this will enable a customer to use any tubes purchased "as is", in commercial scrapkits for personal or commercial use. The license will last a lifetime (regardless of whether it is removed from the site) - details of this will be available on my online store once everything is all live and ready

This is currently not something that I offer in my regular terms of use here on DA. None of my current stock on DA can be used "as is". The license will apply to products purchased from my online store only.

So, it would seem that I have the basics worked out. I'm currently rendering new items and creating new backgrounds especially for my store, along with creating new items for digital scrapbooking. My question to you, my friends, supporters and watchers, is this: Is there anything in specific that you would want to see? ie. any particular themed tubes and backgrounds?


Here is a collection of some of my favourite pieces of art found here on DA.

It Was The Night by AsliYeniay Master Of Puppets by DarkDevil16 Le Baiser by MelieMelusine an Elegy of Fire by SaschaKhan Evilina. Anticipation. by Helga-Helleborus <da:thumb id="520490279"/> When night falls by Aeternum-Art <da:thumb id="528456538"/> Ursula by FreeWingsS Twin Souls by ThelemaDreamsArt  Wish Tree by VityaR83 Mermaid by JohnPatsakios Autumn lullaby by Vladlena111 Fairy Tale by nina-Y Erosion Revelation by jslattum Medicine by Gedogfx Marionette by babsartcreations Fog And Light by nitchwarmer Witch 2 By Cathleentarawhiti-d8jasiv by vicky1583 Sanctuary by JennyLe88 Inheritance by deskridge BUTTERFLIES by MirellaSantana Mantra immortality by saritaangel07 Slavic mythology. Belobog and Chernobog by Vasylina Sweet Girl and the little Dragons by Wesley-Souza Whispers In The Night by EnchantedWhispersArt life is apain of unfulfillment by ser1o Nest by J-u-d-a-s Dark Winter Tale-Contest Entry by areemus Freak Show by Celtica-Harmony I'll Be Waiting by l-a-ll-o  Trauma by mimikascraftroom Lullaby by eclipsy 5 dark Souls by nova63 Dracula's Castle by Whendell Beast bedroom by WolfeWOLF Witch by LunaSombria

How to fall for a Pirate Assassin by KejaBlank Tell a Story - Desktopography version by Wesley-Souza Fairy of the Lake by Whendell Snatching the Bird? by SPRSPRsDigitalArt Lemuria... by DusanMarkovic Castlevania LOS2 - Prince of Darkness by Vrihedd  

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Thank You

Journal Entry: Wed Apr 22, 2015, 1:37 AM


Good morning! Firstly, a massive thanks for all my birthday wishes. I had a fabulous day with family and was surprised with an awesome birthday cake. I'm a huge LOTR fan and so my partner arranged for a LOTR themed cake, complete with Frodo and Gandalf. I didn't want to eat it because it looked so good!

It was made for me by my future sister-in-law over at Peppermint Veil Cake Studio

I've been super busy with work, but now I have some down time and will be working on some more stock and resources. I've got a shed load of stuff to upload, some free and others are premium content. I did think about opening up my own store, but it's time and effort that I really don't have. Maybe in the future I will do. What do you guys think? If I opened a store, would you buy from it? I'd obviously post exclusive stuff to the store that wouldn't be available (by me) anywhere else, along with exclusive freebies too. And maybe I'd offer some of my scrapbook stuff too. Decisions decisions!

In the meantime, whilst I make up my mind, I'll continue posting my stock & resources on here for you guys to use. The works I see created with my stock are mind-blowing. I truly appreciate all the comments, faves and usage of my stock. You guys make it worthwhile with the beautiful creations that you come up with. So thank you. From the bottom of my heart. Thank You :love:

I've been toying with the idea of some sort of contest - not sure yet, but if I held one, what theme would you like it to be? Answers on a postcard.....


Here is a collection of some of the fabulous works created using my stock

Beyond the Horizon by megan7  The Doll house... by RavenYoungblood-art Land by CobaltOfMarch The Penitents of Dawn by annewipf Year 03 A.O. by robhas1left Phoebe:-Titaness of Moon. by SummerDreams-Art Angmar La Rocca di Pietra 1922x1679 by DraakeT by DraakeT Normal Life by JennyLe88 NO PLACE TO HIDE by Muhammadfaizan Set them free.... by RavenYoungblood-art LOZ - Restoration 122 by AiijuinGraphics Woodland archer by sekiq Blonde girl by GORI89 Butterfly Dream by DigitalDreams-Art Gateway by TL-Designz Sad whisper by GORI89 These Dreams by prudence13 <da:thumb id="526022860"/>

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Photo Stock

Journal Entry: Tue Nov 18, 2014, 2:29 AM

News & Updates

Good morning!
It's been a while since I've written in here. As some of you will see, I've started uploading some photo stock. These are from my old account, so they're not brand new and I doubt there'll be any brand new stuff for quite some time. The lighting may be off and skies might be blown out in a few- but they're not submitted as perfect resources (that's where you guys come in).

So go, make them pretty, burn them down, turn them into an evil fortress, make premade backgrounds, but as ever, please follow my

Terms Of UseTerms Of Usage
:bulletred: You MUST inform and credit me in any and all use of this stock. (Preferrably by note)
:bulletred: You are free to use this stock in your personal & commercial projects (prints etc on DA and offsite).
:bulletred: You are free to submit artworks using this stock offsite - please send me a link to your finished piece.
:bulletred: You are NOT to redistribute this stock (as is) as a whole or in part on any filesharing sites, personal blogs, community forums or sites of a similar nature. This includes PU and CU scrapkits that you make available for others to use.
:bulletred: You are NOT to claim ownership to any of the original contents (as is) in whole or in part. This includes my premade backgrounds. Do not offer them for print elsewhere as printed material backdrops, canvas,  or anything of a similar nature. They are meant as a tool to help you in your manipulations.
:bulletred: You are free to create premade ba

I will be uploading some more 3d stock over the next few weeks, including a custom request. So keep your eyes peeled for mushrooms, tombs, coffins, flowers, wings and plenty of other delights.
In the meantime, I leave you with some featured work that uses my stock.


Mnemosyne~ Goddess of Memory by EsotericIllusionThe dead will rise... by RavenYoungblood-artButterfly effect by VanessaPaduaFiddling Fairy by IZSTEVEBaby Seal by annemaria48My Tiny Friends by vishywishMidnight Garden by InadesignMagical meeting by Lubov2001Queen for a day by Miss-deviantELOZ - Restoration 104 by AiijuinGraphicsBirdcatcher by AliaChekNothing last forever by MoonZaphire<da:thumb id="515012852"/>SECRET SIN.. by chryssalisThe key of My Heart by PlacidAnemiaAutumn masquerade by JiaJenn31Caroline and the mirror by CrisestepArtThe Fairy Shaman by MarcoHerreraFar From Worries by DigitalDreams-ArtLost souls guide by SweetlylouDevil by ol2427Gypsy Night by BBstar7Silence in everywhere by MoonRoseEternitySoul Of Winter by DiosaEMRFolle de rage by QiLatheaThe Secret of the Fire Fountain by EkaFantasyThe Sweetest taste... by RavenYoungblood-artLife in the desert by mannoelShadows of Death by AndyGarcia666End of The Storm by llamacria

Artwork + Resources

Thu May 29, 2014, 10:02 AM

So, I've been busy of late, trying to organise my artwork portfolio. I didn't realise how many unfinished projects I had! I've some that have been sat unfinished for almost two years. Is that bad of me? I think it might be wise to scrap anything that's over two years old. I'm continually prgessing and moving forward with my artwork, so old, unfinished work is pretty much just taking up space on my hard drive.
It does mean that I will be uploading some resources that may or may not be of use to people, and they may contain blemishes/imperfections. They won't be on par with my other resources, but once I've uploaded the "old" stuff, I'll be uploading my newer stock.
In the meantime, I'd like to say a massive thank you to everyone who has downloaded, favourited and used my stock & resources. Your artworks are breathtaking. Please, keep them coming!
If you'd like to keep up to date with my latest work or fancy a spot of networking, please check out my Facebook page and my blog below.
Much love and best wishes :heart:

Find Me:

Well, it's been a while huh? Life has been pretty hectic for me over the past few months. I got a full time job as a photographer for a fashion label here in the UK and got to work with Miss Great Britain 2013/14 and Miss South Yorkshire 2013/14. So that's taken up a huge part of my life!

My partner moved in back in March, so sorting the house out to accommodate his belongings has been...interesting haha
I turned 30 years old (thanks for all the birthday messages :heart: ) and I also got enaged :D I'm getting married in Autumn 2016. I'm so freakin' excited!! I really can't wait.
I do find myself having a bit more spare time now, with other things calming down. So figured I'd share some new stock. Also, with PNG Tubes closing back in December - I've got all my stuff that I posted exclusively to that site, to pack up and post on here - should anyone be interested in any.My subscription has run out, so PNG Tube stock will be accessible through the points sytem/premium content option.
Be nice to get rid of these crappy adverts and to get back into the swing of things again properly. Premium membership is definitely worth it. I've missed a lot of people on here - some of you I have on my Facebook :love: So, I'm looking forward to sharing my new stuff and browsing all the magnificent artwork around the site. 
I hope that you're all keeping well and please accept my apologies if I happen to spam your MCs.
Thanks as always for the continued support of my work and keep making those beautiful pieces of art - you all rock!

Grab Them

Journal Entry: Sat Jan 26, 2013, 4:10 AM


I've had a few notes from those of you who use my stock on a regular basis but haven't downloaded them to your computers. I have decided to un-store all my stock for a couple of days, give folk the opportunity to grab what you need.

PNG Tubes

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A New Era

Journal Entry: Fri Jan 25, 2013, 9:23 AM


As you may notice, all of my deviations are now in storage. This wasn't an easy decision to make, but I simply do not have the time for deviantart any longer. My life has taken a turn in a different direction and I have to focus on that.

I still have a full message centre to get through - and I shall answer your notes etc in due course.

Those of you who have my stock & resources already downloaded are still free to use them - providing you follow my terms of usage.

Over the next few weeks I will be sorting out  :icon3d-planet: that I administrate (well, that I've been neglecting) - if anyone wishes to take over, please contact me.

Thanks to everyone for your continued support during my time here :heart:

I wish you all the very best in your future endeavours.

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Back To Normal

Journal Entry: Fri May 25, 2012, 11:13 AM


Well, we're all settled in to our new home. Just a few things left to get sorted before I make a start on converting my cellar/basement into a home studio :excited:

Internet is now on also, so I'll be back spamming your inboxes again before too long :D I have some group stuff to sort out too, along with new tubes & backgrounds for the PNGtubes store

As always, thanks for your continued support :heart:

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Move Day

Journal Entry: Thu Apr 26, 2012, 8:31 AM


Well - I have the date for our move. Saturday May 5th :excited:

I've been a bit quiet on the DA front for obvious reasons - but hopefully in the next few weeks I can get back to my group responsibilities, uploading new stock and being a nuisance to some of my watchers :giggle:

I've been really unwell the past couple of days and have decided to take a little break from packing etc So, here I am - catching up on my message centre and in the process of sorting out some new "old" stock to spam your inboxes with. I say new "old" stuff - as it's mostly stuff that I rendered aaaaages ago, but never got around to do anything with them. Some are from when I very first started with Daz - so there are likely to be some imperfections - but's stock right? :p

I also have some special prize packages to get done for contests that I've been asked to donate to - they'll be making their way to the Donation/Prize stock folder soon enough :aww:

I'm currently behind on dishing out prizes for past contest winners - please understand that I haven't forgotten - I've just been super busy getting my house sorted and stuff. They will be with you soon :nod:

Like I said, I have a few things to submit here and then I'm likely to be quiet again for a couple of weeks. Please keep using my stock to create your wonderful artworks - it makes me happy in my face region :D and I promise to do a massive feature once I'm up and running again in the new place.

Your support is much appreciated :heart:

PNG Tubes

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Thank You

Journal Entry: Sat Mar 31, 2012, 5:33 AM


A massive thank you for all the birthday wishes, cake badges and beautiful art gifts :faint: I'm in total awe. You guys rock :D

Life has been quite hectic for me of late and I'm finding myself having less time to do anything here on DA :no:

I'm in the process of moving house. I'm moving almost 150 miles to be closer to my sister who suffers from various mental illnesses. So I've been busy sorting through stuff here, chucking things out, taking things to the new recycling centre and filling in heaps of paperwork. Moving house is super stressful - but it has to be done.

I guess I'm only sorry for being such a hoarder! I have so much crap that I'd forgotten about - it's taking FOREVER to sort through.

Spending my days packing stuff etc makes me really tired, and I've been going to bed a lot earlier than usual. I was in bed before 10pm last night!! But, I know it'll all be worth it in the end. The new house is bigger and I even have space for a photo studio :excited:

I've got more paid photography and design work coming up too - for bands mostly; CD covers, logos etc which is quite exciting - but again.. being so busy with the move, some things have taken a back seat. Those things being stuff I do for free/in my spare time (something I don't have much of)

I've also met a guy - whilst up visiting my sister a couple of weeks ago. Things are early days, but it's going well :aww:

My DA group :icon3d-planet: is also being neglected a bit and I want to give a massive thank you to :iconjust-a-little-knotty: and :iconsilentfuneral: for keeping things ticking over. I'm just over a 100 :points: away from being able to upgrade it to a super group - something that will benefit everyone involved. Once we've settled into our new home - I'll have plenty of time to get back into the swing of things and continue with projects that I've had to put on hold.

I do have some stock to submit - but it's just finding the time amongst everything else :no:

Anyway - I had a great birthday and once again - thank you for all the birthday wishes etc :love: Much appreciated :heart:

I have notes and messages to catch up on - I will get around to it in due course - please bare with me on that one :giggle:

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Moving On

Journal Entry: Fri Feb 24, 2012, 10:54 AM


An update on yesterdays journal. Our friendship is over. Well and truly. I got called selfish, ungrateful and was accused of attention seeking :aww: Today has been an entertaining day, but now more than ever, I realise there is no place for people like that in my life. So I'm moving on. Unfortunately - our friendship being over - doesn't stop her from texting me :shakefist: Yes I can easily ignore them, but why should I have to put up with it? I can't just block one number apparently - and so I have no choice but to change my number. But I'm fine with that - means I can have a completely fresh start, plus I don't have a whole bunch of contacts in it anyway :giggle:

We both live in the same sleepy little town and are bound to bump into each other at some point. But that sure as hell isn't going to stop be going about my day-to-day routine.

But enough about that - it's done with. Wipe the slate clean and carry on with life - at least I know I'm much better off now. I actually feel a sense of relief :faint:

I'm planning on having some new stock up for you all soon and will also be getting back into the swing of things with regards for new items for PNG tubes. I also have some more prize packs to sort out too :excited:

My heart has been heavy and things have been hanging over me, but I can honestly say, that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I'm feeling inspired and creative again :w00t:

Your inboxes may very well be spammed, so be prepared for it :D

Thanks for all your messages of support and for giving me your honest opinions. Much appreciated :heart:

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Journal Entry: Thu Feb 23, 2012, 7:40 AM


Normally I wouldn't seek other people's opinions - but I'm totally livid right now.

It's best if I start from the beginning (this could get lengthy)

I've known this individual for over 10 years now and. We'll call her "Tracey". She's 8 years younger than me, give or take a few days. We have always considered each other to be the very best of friends and in recent years have often referred to each other as being like sisters.

Tracey lived with her parents until she decided she'd had enough of being on a curfew (being in before a certain time etc) and so she moved out. Having nowhere else to go - I said she could move in with my son and myself until she found her own place. Within a week and a half - she was in her own place.

Now - Tracey was with this guy for about 2, maybe 3, years and she told me that she wasn't happy with him. She left him for another guy in the end. At first I took an instant dislike to him (something about him that I just didn't like - gave off bad vibes). I made my feelings clear, but eventually put them to one side - I figured that as long as Tracey was happy then so was I. But even then I began to see even less of her than I did before. Partly my fault - I didn't want to intrude on a blossoming relationship etc

A few months into their relationship - Tracey announced that she was pregnant. Admittedly, I saw it coming, but nonetheless I was thrilled for them whilst being a little anxious for them at the same time. I got pregnant 3 months into my relationship and after4 years together it went belly up - I didn't want the same happening to them.

Anyway, they eventually moved in together and I'd help them out with groceries sometimes and lend them money on the understanding that it be paid back. Fine - not a problem. I was there for her when she went into labour - I was there for her when her emotions ran wild and got the better of her and I was there for her when her partner kept getting in trouble with the law and she was scared he was going to get put in prison.

7 months after their baby was born - he cheated on her with one of her high school friends and they broke up. I was there again to support her, to help both emotionally and financially and to help her rebuild her life. I felt sorry for her. I'd been in that situation myself - a young single mother with a child to bring up alone. My heart went out to her and I did my best to help out in any way possible. He'd left her in debt and she was worried that she'd not be able to afford nappies for the baby or food for her etc. So again, I bought groceries and lent her money. I told her at the time to pay it back when she had it - even if it was a small amount every week.

I then find out that she'd been borrowing money from other people too and that when it came to her getting her weekly money - the majority was going straight back out to pay people she'd borrowed money from - but not me.

I lent her money back in September 2011. As Christmas approached I figured, although I was in need of the money myself, that it wouldn't be fair to ask for some of my money back etc because she was upset that she wasn't going to be able to afford a decent first Christmas for her son - I felt sorry for her having been through the same thing myself.

Tracey then got herself another boyfriend. He seemed really nice and had a good job and was great with her son. I admit that I didn't go and see her as much then, simply because I didn't want to intrude - a new relationship and all that. Within about a month they'd split up - he'd cheated on her too! Yet again I was there to support her and let her cry on my shoulders, comforted her and consoled her.

I'm the sort of person who will always be open and honest. I tend to say whatever is on my mind. Anyway, Christmas came and went and she'd spend almost every day up at my house, we'd watch movies, chat about anything and nothing and just hang out. We used to go for our morning coffee and catch up with a mutual friend of ours every morning.

Then one day I got to the cafe late and Tracey was there with our mutual friend and another person. Someone I'd never met before. We were introduced and I was informed that he was a friend of hers.  I admit I may have been a bit cynical and probably came across as aggressive. I said it was nice to meet him but explained that I'd never heard of him before. We sat and drank our coffee and then went about our usual day - only as she was with this new friend of hers, she didn't come up to my house - fair enough - I never expected us to be in each others pockets all the time and thought it was good for her that she had other friends she could turn to if need be.

A few days later Tracey turned up at my door with this friend of hers. No phone call or text to inform me she was coming up - she stood there and asked if it was ok for her friend to come in too. Please understand that I'm not a bitch, but I'm very wary of who I let into my house having been burgled a couple of years ago by someone the police reckon I know - but she kinda put me on the spot and so I said he could come in too.

Tracey had come to pick up her tattoo machine that she'd left here over new year in order to concentrate on the theory behind tattooing, rather than the practical side of things. (This was advice given to her by someone who'd worked in tattoo shops and did tattooing herself (another close friend of mine). She'd taken the time to advise Tracey all about tattooing, the methods, practices, the legal side of things etc and it was her suggestion that the tattoo machine stay here for a while so that Tracey wouldn't be tempted to tattoo herself or anyone else.

A couple of days later I read on Facebook that Tracey was tattooing another friend of hers. I text her saying I thought she wasn't doing tattoo any more until she'd learned all the theory stuff? Apparently this other friend had nagged her and so Tracey gave in. Another couple of days and Facebook notifies me that Tracey was in a new relationship. Within 10 minutes it changed to " a relationship with *****" - the friend that she'd introduced me to only the week before.

Of course I thought it was lunacy. That it was far too soon. That Tracey needed to concentrate on her son and herself  and not jumping into another relationship. Anyway, her new boyfriend posted on her wall telling Tracey that he loved her. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I commented on the post saying that it was a bit soon to be using such a strong word - they'd only been in a relationship 5 minutes. My comment got deleted and then I got a text from Tracey asking me if she'd done anything to piss me off as I obviously didn't agree with her new relationship etc.

I told her that I didn't have a problem with her new guy. But I also told her that I thought she was being incredibly stupid jumping into yet another relationship - so soon after the other two (third relationship in 5 months). Things changed after that.

We stopped talking. She no longer came to my house (granted I didn't go to hers either) - the only communication I had from her was when she asked if I was going to her son's 1st birthday - with details of time and place. I then saw on Facebook that she'd invited my son's dad and his fiancee (the woman he cheated on me with). I was probably childish, but I told Tracey that I wouldn't be attending her son's 1st birthday party as I refused to be in the same room as this other woman. I apologised and said that I understood it was her son's day etc but that I simply couldn't sit there and pretend that everything was ok.

A couple of weeks before the party - I asked Tracey if she could give me some of the money back that she'd owed me since September. She told me it'd have to be the following week as she had her son's birthday coming up. Fair enough. The following week came around and so I asked her again - only to be met with her saying she'd have to see if she had any money left after her son's party because she only got X amount that week and had forgotten she'd have to buy things for the party. ( didn't make sense to me either - how can you forget about your own child's party, especially as you'd mentioned it the week before?)

A couple of days before the party, I told Tracey that my son and I would be attending but only for a short while as I had to go home and do some washing and some packing ready for my trip away that was two days after the party. So, party day arrived - we were greeted with smiles and open arms. She was wearing my top that she'd borrowed months before and not returned. She was wearing new boots too (funny how one can buy new boots with no money - though her new boyfriend could have bought them). Anyway, this top was low cut at the back and it showed off her unfinished tattoo that my other friend and her husband had worked on new year's eve until the early hours of new year's day. A tattoo that she was absolutely thrilled to bits with - even in it's unfinished state.

I had to sit there and listen to Tracey's older sister bang on about how shit the tattoo looked, about how it looked like the guy had only just picked up a machine and that she thought Tracey had said he was a professional. Tracey didn't say one word to defend the tattooist. She simply tried to quieten down her sister and nodded some form of agreement - neglecting entirely to tell her sister (and everyone else that commented on it) that it was an unfinished tattoo that she was over the moon with.

In the end I'd had enough. I wasn't going to sit there and have my other friends (people who had been kind to Tracey and helped her out too) be slated and made a mockery of. I didn't want to cause a scene and so my son and I left early. I wasn't nasty and I thanked her for inviting us and hoped that her son enjoyed the rest of her birthday.

I went away on the Monday and asked Tracey if she'd have any money for me when I got back as I was in desperate need of it. She said she'd have a small amount for me on the Wednesday (the day we came back). Tracey had been to my house on the Wednesday afternoon, but I wasn't there. My lodger answered the door and she asked him if he had change for a twenty pound note, when he said that he didn't Tracey decided that she couldn't be bothered walking back down into town (I live up a big hill) only to walk back up again and she'd give it to me the next day.

I rang her the next day to ask if she was in - she was out, on a walk and then going to her boyfriends house in the next town. We spoke for quite sometime about this and that and the conversation ended on a light note. The next morning I was in the cafe having a coffee with our mutual friend and I text asking if she was home. Tracey said she was home and had some money there waiting for me. I told her I'd send my son round to fetch it as I was half way though a mug of coffee and a natter.

I'd not heard anything from Tracey since that day.

This morning I was again in the cafe having a coffee and our mutual friend asked if I'd seen or heard from her - my reply was a no - the same as his. Even one of the women who works in the cafe asked where Tracey was. She'd not seen her for a while in the cafe nor around town and wondered if she'd moved away. Again I text Tracey asking if she had any money for me this week - the reply I got was that she was skint. She said she'd let me know if she could give me any next week as she had bills to pay. I told her that technically it was a bill. Tracey responded by telling me that I was a friend not a bill. That got my goat a bit and I may have over-reacted but I told her that yes, I was a friend who'd had to sit and watch as she borrowed money from other people and pay them back but was still waiting for what she owed me and that I needed the money. The fact I'd initially told her to pay it me back when she had it got thrown back into my face and she said that she needed the money also.

At this point I was livid. So I told her to forget it. To keep the money. I was done. She then had the nerve to accuse me of being "done" with her for a few weeks, that I hadn't even bothered and she was fed up of doing all the running. That since she got with her new boyfriend her "so called friends" don't bother any more. She asked what was stopping me going over to pick up the money last week myself - instead of sending my son over and that I've made it clear how I've felt over the past few weeks especially at her son's birthday.

I saw red. How fucking DARE she! After everything I've done for her. We're all good enough for her when she's single but as soon as a new man comes along she drops us like a stone. I told her to carry on pretending that she was the victim. The reply I got next sealed the fate of our friendship. Tracey told me that she found it all funny. She'd never made herself out to be the victim. That her not seeing me when she was with her previous two boyfriends was complete bollocks.

It's the final sentence that has made me so angry. She said "Just forget it Emma. Friendship is obviously bollocks to you anyway".

What the fucking fuck?!!! Is she serious?! After everything? Anyway, I replied telling her that yes it was funny, wished her good luck with her life and all the very best. Her number has been deleted from my phone and she has been removed from my friends list on Facebook.

Here comes the question - Am I in the wrong? Am I such a terrible friend?

None of it makes any real sense at all. We've gone from being like sisters to nothing in less than half a year. It upsets me but riles me at the same time :shrug:

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Deviously Denied

Journal Entry: Wed Feb 22, 2012, 4:07 AM


So, DA are at it again - making changes and updates to the Resources & Stock categories :excited:  A fantastic idea if you ask me. I have some really positive things to say about the proposed changes - but I can't comment on the actual journal HERE:…

Why? Because I'm blocked. But that's fair enough - we don't particularly get on. I just think that it's rather unfair, that I'm not able to post my feedback (as a stock artist & digital artist) due to a "deviously denied"  thing being in my way.

Normally I'd let other people provide their feedback and just go along with it, but it seems that when it comes to the Stock & Resource galleries - the CR team really do listen.

Anyway - as I'm unable to provide my feedback to the people that can make any changes - you make sure you go on over there and provide your feedback on the proposed changes and updates.

All I can say is that it's win/win and long past due. :aww:

I hope that you all had a lovely Valentine's Day yesterday :heart:

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My Stock

Journal Entry: Wed Feb 15, 2012, 10:20 AM


I've been away for a few days visiting my sister. It was nice to have a little break away :aww:

My messages and notes are still piling up - if you've sent me a note and I've still not replied please sit tight - I WILL get to you.

I logged on today to see that I'd won myself 500:points: in the 3D Scavenger Hunt for 3D week held by Project Educate :excited: I'm so chuffed - I'd actually forgotten all about it! The article/journal is here if you're interested:…

I do have some more stock to upload that's been lying around my pc and some new stock as well - but it will be posted in dribs and drabs. I'm also thinking of making some more mini scrap kits :shrug: not sure yet. I've seen my Noir Taggers Kit on some filesharing sites but have yet to see the steampunk one - but it probably is floating around out there.

I suppose all this art theft stuff will never stop. I can't say that it doesn't bother me because it does - but I know that anything that is posted online is then made readily available for people to steal. Yes - even those that have huge watermarks on them because art thiefs etc can be so dumb.

As far as the rest of my stock goes - I think my terms of use are very reasonable (click the link at top of this journal). But should the build up of thievery continue, I'll have no choice but to remove it. It's a bit sad that other people must lose out because of others - but that's how it is.

Personally, I don't have the time to go "chasing people down" and reporting infringements left, right and centre. I barely have the time for DA as it is. I'm focusing more on getting new stuff up into PNGTubes.

It seems to be a common misconception that all stock should be free. Whilst I do provide the majority of the stock in my gallery for free - I'm perfectly within my rights to withdraw that luxury at any time. After all, I pay for the 3D resources/models etc, so why shouldn't I get something in return? You wouldn't start a cup cake business and then give all of your products away would you?

It started out as a hobby because I enjoy seeing the wonderful art created with my stock. Part of it has already become a business due to selling my stock through PNGtubes.

Some people don't seem to understand nor realise the amount of work that goes in to just one single 3D stock pack. First I have to purchase from sites such as Daz3D, Renderosity, RuntimeDNA etc, then I have to load, pose, add lighting and render, then comes the cleaning up of the render so that there are no horrid white marks around them, then there's the creating of the previews, creating folders, editing the readme files per folder, zipping them and then finally uploading them here to Da - for FREE.

I know that I don't really have to put my stock into packs or zip files and that I can simply upload the single png files,like many other 3D stock artists on here already do. I admire their work, but I choose to do it differently because I've always been taught that presentation is everything. I want my stock to be used. I want people to look at my previews and say "ooh I like that - I think I'll use it in a future piece of work" or something. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that others are being lazy - far from it. Just that my way is a little different is all :shrug:

Anyway, this journal is just becoming one major free for all rant - that's not its purpose. Though I think I may create a poll asking for your opinions regarding previews/packs etc.

I hope that you all had a lovely Valentine's Day yesterday :heart:

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I Won!!

Journal Entry: Tue Jan 31, 2012, 3:24 PM


Thanks to everyone who voted/liked my image on Facebook.

I won :D I now have a signed copy of Wereworld's first album making it's way to me :D

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Help Please

Journal Entry: Tue Dec 6, 2011, 9:54 AM


I love this Spanish band called Wereworld and they're holding a contest to win a copy of their album.

The aim of the contest is to re-work the band logo in your own original and unique way. The image is then emailed to the band and put on their facebook page along with the other entries.

The image with the most likes by February 1st wins.

I never normally ask for this kind of thing - but just once I'd like to win something :giggle:

Can I ask all my friends and watchers to head on over to facebook and simply click "like" on my image. I was in the lead, but now I'm behind by about 13 likes :no:

Your support is much appreciated :D Whilst you're there - add me to Facebook too :heart:  Thank you sooooooo much

Clicking the above image will take you to facebook.

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3D Week

Journal Entry: Wed Oct 26, 2011, 6:42 PM


Project Educate: 3D Week HAS BEGUN!

PE 2010 stamp by projecteducate PE 2010 stamp by projecteducate PE 2010 stamp by projecteducate

It's finally started, 3D week at Project Educate is here!

Things are going to go by super fast this week, so it's very important for you guys to know where you can find information.

The master list of events can be found in This journal post.

If you check this post every day, you will find updates and new information.

You may also want to add the current CV for the 3D Gallery, Cymae to your watch list.

All new events and articles are published to her journal (this will also be true of other stuff after 3D week is over), so it's a good idea to watch her if you want to get the latest information!

A lot of planning, work, money and time has gone into 3D week at Project Educate. Please show your support by participating and spreading the word, so we can continue to do events like these in the future.

Contest Winners

A huge congratulations to all winners and honourable mentions from xgnyc 's Halloween contest :pumpkin:

First Place Digital- Halloween by NoName-Face

Second Place Digital - Cinderella by BigBad-Red

Third Place Digital - Halloween Magic by SharonLeggDigitalArt

Honourable Mentions - Halloween Spells by DaniaArts

First Place Traditional - :thumb266349742:

Second Place Traditional - Halloween 2011 by TrollGirl

Third Place Traditional - Trick To Treat by FrancescaBaerald

Honourable Mentions - My Treasures by Kyyraneth

First Place Fractal - Who Cares About The Candy by NinthTaboo

Second Place Fractal - Vampire Moon by wolfepaw

Third Place Fractal - Demon Jack Pumpkin Patch by HalTenny

Honourable Mentions - Skull Spiral by rockgem

First Place Literature - Season of the WitchSomething slow and arcane
culls this fire
and flares like ghosts.
It stirs your soul,
splits the iris of your eye,
a spectrum to haunt October -
ruddy gold and rust,
followed by a dark so smooth,
it smothers embers
and roosts upon the river,
too deep to drown you.
And in the depths -
molten brown
muddles silt and pine,
witches' brew of
tar voiced stones
that glint
and hold you down
like amber.

Second Place Literature - :thumb259581852:

Third Place Literature - Moonlight SerenadePain erupts around the swollen womb
As the cycle of day turns to night,
Full moon starring the Night Sky Feature.
Unwanted muse to peel away
Layers of saturated flesh,
Blood pooled around where the body lay twisted.
A cry pierces the night sky
Splitting the clouds like lightning,
Settling down like ashes that taste of leaves.
Thunderous echoes follow after
While fear spreads below,
Tremors threaten the threshold and force the break.
Alone, the babe with Canine eyes,
Steps forward from the grave
His mother a sordid, fragile thing where warmth lingers.
Into the night stumbling forward
Clutching an imaginary heart,
He pretends to feel and thirsts for a drink,
Lifting his head into the midnight sky.

Honourable Mentions -

First Place Photography - Ready to Trick or Treat by NHuval

Second Place Photography - Fashion Decay by LA34

Third Place Photography - I like pumpkins by MorbidMorticia

Honourable Mentions - :thumb266152628:

First Place Artisan Crafts - Spooky Witchy Ghost Necklace by CatNapCaps

Second Place Artisan Crafts - Halloween kitty by CatsWire

Third Place Artisan Crafts - Positive ghost earrings by Kestlovas

Honourable Mentions - Halloween Pumpkin Earrings by AlexandraKnickel

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Journal Entry: Tue Oct 18, 2011, 11:37 AM


Firstly - a huge thank you for all your messages of sympathy with regards to the loss of my Grandmother. Thank You :heart:

As difficult as it is, I know that life simply must go on as normal. The past two weeks have been hell and so far removed from anything remotely similar to what I'd call "normal".

I find myself pondering the reasons why I didn't cry as much as I thought I would. Instead I just feel a never-ending emptiness no matter what I do or who I'm with.

I know that eventually those feelings will fade and I should really take much more from the poem I read out at the funeral service:

You can shed tears that she is gone

or you can smile because she has lived.

You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back

or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.

Your heart can be empty because you can't see her

or you can be full of the love you shared.

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.

You can remember her and only that she's gone

or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.

You can cry and close your mind,

be empty and turn your back

or you can do what she'd want:

smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

It took an awful lot of courage and self-control for me to get up and read that poem. Perhaps the stubborn mule in me, who told myself not to cry whilst reading it, worked its magic on the rest of me and hasn't allowed me to cry full stop. I don't know. I'm sad. So very sad that my Grandma has passed on - but also happy knowing that she's passed on to another life.

Nothing can ever take away the pain and heartache of losing a loved one - regardless of whether it is expected or if it is sudden. I have a heavy heart and I'm not ashamed to admit that - but I also have a life. A life I need to live.

Saying goodbye to someone on their deathbed brings into sudden realisation the questions about our own mortality. My Grandma was 98 years old. She'd lived almost an entire century. The things she'd seen and done in her lifetime. The changes in the world we live in - the people that she herself has lost along the way - including her only son (my father). I don't expect to live until I'm 98 years old. I smoke and I drink and I overindulge at times. I'm not the fittest or the healthiest individual but I'm not a slob.

I intend to live my life to the fullest. Each and every single day is precious and should be treated as a gift. I've always known that but it got lost somehow along the way.

I'm privileged to have had such a wonderful, caring, strong and giving Grandmother. My intention is for her to live on through myself and my own son. Plans I'd put off have now been re-arranged. The procrastinator in me has had a good telling off and even my lifestyle has seen some small changes.

I have many exciting projects in the pipeline over the next month and I know that my Grandma is now with my Grandfather and father, watching over me and the rest of my family. I shall be lighting candles in their memory at the end of each passing month - my way of saying thank you to them and to remember them in my own little way.

The road ahead is not without turbulence I suspect, but I have three guardian angels watching over me, a good head on my shoulders and the will and determination to succeed. This is my life, I'm going to live it!

Samhain/Halloween Themed Art

A selection of my favourite digital art from fellow deviants that fall into the "Samhain/Halloween" category :pumpkin:

:thumb264046677: halloween 2010 by Calaymo The Scarecrow by Nikulina-Helena Forbidden Library by JoeDiamondD :thumb259919171: Steampunk Halloween by DerekEmmons

Mature Content

Cornucopia by Ros-Kovac
Kiss of Wisdom by Kaelhiar  :thumb96315711: + Eternal Dawn + by OmarRodriguezV :thumb194875116: halloween by sandara Halloween by Thunderbird111 Halloween Spells by FrozenStarRo Halloween Pumpkin Patch by jerry8448 happy halloween by wrednawiedzma Happy Halloween by VoydKessler Halloween Tree by jerry8448 Halloween Goldfish by polawat Owlthing by liiga Jack O Lantern by GENZOMAN I Rule The Night by nathie Happy Halloween by GlacierFusion

Samhain/Halloween Themed Stock

A selection of my stock that falls into the "Samhain/Halloween" category :pumpkin:

Witches Brew by zememz :thumb260358798: :thumb259502846: Skellington 1 by zememz Wizard Props by zememz Free Background 26 by zememz Headstones 2 by zememz Coffins by zememz Apparitions by zememz Abracadabra by zememz Free Background 7 by zememz Gargoyle by zememz Slayer Props by zememz

Mature Content

Decomp by zememz
Bonez by zememz

Mature Content

Zombies by zememz
Mummy Pack by zememz :thumb196678365:  Long Time Dead Free Background by zememz Transparent Background 3 by zememz 3D Cauldrons by zememz 3D Magical Accessories by zememz 3D Creeping Plants by zememz 3D Raven Pack by zememz :thumb209851936: :thumb202158680: :thumb202375876:

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Journal Entry: Mon Oct 3, 2011, 11:49 AM


I'll be gone for a few days. My Grandma passed away today. My head is up my arse and I have no mind to do much of anything. I'll catch up with notes, messages etc when I get back


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