Normally I wouldn't seek other people's opinions - but I'm totally livid right now.
It's best if I start from the beginning (this could get lengthy)
I've known this individual for over 10 years now and. We'll call her "Tracey". She's 8 years younger than me, give or take a few days. We have always considered each other to be the very best of friends and in recent years have often referred to each other as being like sisters.
Tracey lived with her parents until she decided she'd had enough of being on a curfew (being in before a certain time etc) and so she moved out. Having nowhere else to go - I said she could move in with my son and myself until she found her own place. Within a week and a half - she was in her own place.
Now - Tracey was with this guy for about 2, maybe 3, years and she told me that she wasn't happy with him. She left him for another guy in the end. At first I took an instant dislike to him (something about him that I just didn't like - gave off bad vibes). I made my feelings clear, but eventually put them to one side - I figured that as long as Tracey was happy then so was I. But even then I began to see even less of her than I did before. Partly my fault - I didn't want to intrude on a blossoming relationship etc
A few months into their relationship - Tracey announced that she was pregnant. Admittedly, I saw it coming, but nonetheless I was thrilled for them whilst being a little anxious for them at the same time. I got pregnant 3 months into my relationship and after4 years together it went belly up - I didn't want the same happening to them.
Anyway, they eventually moved in together and I'd help them out with groceries sometimes and lend them money on the understanding that it be paid back. Fine - not a problem. I was there for her when she went into labour - I was there for her when her emotions ran wild and got the better of her and I was there for her when her partner kept getting in trouble with the law and she was scared he was going to get put in prison.
7 months after their baby was born - he cheated on her with one of her high school friends and they broke up. I was there again to support her, to help both emotionally and financially and to help her rebuild her life. I felt sorry for her. I'd been in that situation myself - a young single mother with a child to bring up alone. My heart went out to her and I did my best to help out in any way possible. He'd left her in debt and she was worried that she'd not be able to afford nappies for the baby or food for her etc. So again, I bought groceries and lent her money. I told her at the time to pay it back when she had it - even if it was a small amount every week.
I then find out that she'd been borrowing money from other people too and that when it came to her getting her weekly money - the majority was going straight back out to pay people she'd borrowed money from - but not me.
I lent her money back in September 2011. As Christmas approached I figured, although I was in need of the money myself, that it wouldn't be fair to ask for some of my money back etc because she was upset that she wasn't going to be able to afford a decent first Christmas for her son - I felt sorry for her having been through the same thing myself.
Tracey then got herself another boyfriend. He seemed really nice and had a good job and was great with her son. I admit that I didn't go and see her as much then, simply because I didn't want to intrude - a new relationship and all that. Within about a month they'd split up - he'd cheated on her too! Yet again I was there to support her and let her cry on my shoulders, comforted her and consoled her.
I'm the sort of person who will always be open and honest. I tend to say whatever is on my mind. Anyway, Christmas came and went and she'd spend almost every day up at my house, we'd watch movies, chat about anything and nothing and just hang out. We used to go for our morning coffee and catch up with a mutual friend of ours every morning.
Then one day I got to the cafe late and Tracey was there with our mutual friend and another person. Someone I'd never met before. We were introduced and I was informed that he was a friend of hers. I admit I may have been a bit cynical and probably came across as aggressive. I said it was nice to meet him but explained that I'd never heard of him before. We sat and drank our coffee and then went about our usual day - only as she was with this new friend of hers, she didn't come up to my house - fair enough - I never expected us to be in each others pockets all the time and thought it was good for her that she had other friends she could turn to if need be.
A few days later Tracey turned up at my door with this friend of hers. No phone call or text to inform me she was coming up - she stood there and asked if it was ok for her friend to come in too. Please understand that I'm not a bitch, but I'm very wary of who I let into my house having been burgled a couple of years ago by someone the police reckon I know - but she kinda put me on the spot and so I said he could come in too.
Tracey had come to pick up her tattoo machine that she'd left here over new year in order to concentrate on the theory behind tattooing, rather than the practical side of things. (This was advice given to her by someone who'd worked in tattoo shops and did tattooing herself (another close friend of mine). She'd taken the time to advise Tracey all about tattooing, the methods, practices, the legal side of things etc and it was her suggestion that the tattoo machine stay here for a while so that Tracey wouldn't be tempted to tattoo herself or anyone else.
A couple of days later I read on Facebook that Tracey was tattooing another friend of hers. I text her saying I thought she wasn't doing tattoo any more until she'd learned all the theory stuff? Apparently this other friend had nagged her and so Tracey gave in. Another couple of days and Facebook notifies me that Tracey was in a new relationship. Within 10 minutes it changed to " ..in a relationship with *****" - the friend that she'd introduced me to only the week before.
Of course I thought it was lunacy. That it was far too soon. That Tracey needed to concentrate on her son and herself and not jumping into another relationship. Anyway, her new boyfriend posted on her wall telling Tracey that he loved her. Maybe I shouldn't have, but I commented on the post saying that it was a bit soon to be using such a strong word - they'd only been in a relationship 5 minutes. My comment got deleted and then I got a text from Tracey asking me if she'd done anything to piss me off as I obviously didn't agree with her new relationship etc.
I told her that I didn't have a problem with her new guy. But I also told her that I thought she was being incredibly stupid jumping into yet another relationship - so soon after the other two (third relationship in 5 months). Things changed after that.
We stopped talking. She no longer came to my house (granted I didn't go to hers either) - the only communication I had from her was when she asked if I was going to her son's 1st birthday - with details of time and place. I then saw on Facebook that she'd invited my son's dad and his fiancee (the woman he cheated on me with). I was probably childish, but I told Tracey that I wouldn't be attending her son's 1st birthday party as I refused to be in the same room as this other woman. I apologised and said that I understood it was her son's day etc but that I simply couldn't sit there and pretend that everything was ok.
A couple of weeks before the party - I asked Tracey if she could give me some of the money back that she'd owed me since September. She told me it'd have to be the following week as she had her son's birthday coming up. Fair enough. The following week came around and so I asked her again - only to be met with her saying she'd have to see if she had any money left after her son's party because she only got X amount that week and had forgotten she'd have to buy things for the party. (No..it didn't make sense to me either - how can you forget about your own child's party, especially as you'd mentioned it the week before?)
A couple of days before the party, I told Tracey that my son and I would be attending but only for a short while as I had to go home and do some washing and some packing ready for my trip away that was two days after the party. So, party day arrived - we were greeted with smiles and open arms. She was wearing my top that she'd borrowed months before and not returned. She was wearing new boots too (funny how one can buy new boots with no money - though her new boyfriend could have bought them). Anyway, this top was low cut at the back and it showed off her unfinished tattoo that my other friend and her husband had worked on new year's eve until the early hours of new year's day. A tattoo that she was absolutely thrilled to bits with - even in it's unfinished state.
I had to sit there and listen to Tracey's older sister bang on about how shit the tattoo looked, about how it looked like the guy had only just picked up a machine and that she thought Tracey had said he was a professional. Tracey didn't say one word to defend the tattooist. She simply tried to quieten down her sister and nodded some form of agreement - neglecting entirely to tell her sister (and everyone else that commented on it) that it was an unfinished tattoo that she was over the moon with.
In the end I'd had enough. I wasn't going to sit there and have my other friends (people who had been kind to Tracey and helped her out too) be slated and made a mockery of. I didn't want to cause a scene and so my son and I left early. I wasn't nasty and I thanked her for inviting us and hoped that her son enjoyed the rest of her birthday.
I went away on the Monday and asked Tracey if she'd have any money for me when I got back as I was in desperate need of it. She said she'd have a small amount for me on the Wednesday (the day we came back). Tracey had been to my house on the Wednesday afternoon, but I wasn't there. My lodger answered the door and she asked him if he had change for a twenty pound note, when he said that he didn't Tracey decided that she couldn't be bothered walking back down into town (I live up a big hill) only to walk back up again and she'd give it to me the next day.
I rang her the next day to ask if she was in - she was out, on a walk and then going to her boyfriends house in the next town. We spoke for quite sometime about this and that and the conversation ended on a light note. The next morning I was in the cafe having a coffee with our mutual friend and I text asking if she was home. Tracey said she was home and had some money there waiting for me. I told her I'd send my son round to fetch it as I was half way though a mug of coffee and a natter.
I'd not heard anything from Tracey since that day.
This morning I was again in the cafe having a coffee and our mutual friend asked if I'd seen or heard from her - my reply was a no - the same as his. Even one of the women who works in the cafe asked where Tracey was. She'd not seen her for a while in the cafe nor around town and wondered if she'd moved away. Again I text Tracey asking if she had any money for me this week - the reply I got was that she was skint. She said she'd let me know if she could give me any next week as she had bills to pay. I told her that technically it was a bill. Tracey responded by telling me that I was a friend not a bill. That got my goat a bit and I may have over-reacted but I told her that yes, I was a friend who'd had to sit and watch as she borrowed money from other people and pay them back but was still waiting for what she owed me and that I needed the money. The fact I'd initially told her to pay it me back when she had it got thrown back into my face and she said that she needed the money also.
At this point I was livid. So I told her to forget it. To keep the money. I was done. She then had the nerve to accuse me of being "done" with her for a few weeks, that I hadn't even bothered and she was fed up of doing all the running. That since she got with her new boyfriend her "so called friends" don't bother any more. She asked what was stopping me going over to pick up the money last week myself - instead of sending my son over and that I've made it clear how I've felt over the past few weeks especially at her son's birthday.
I saw red. How fucking DARE she! After everything I've done for her. We're all good enough for her when she's single but as soon as a new man comes along she drops us like a stone. I told her to carry on pretending that she was the victim. The reply I got next sealed the fate of our friendship. Tracey told me that she found it all funny. She'd never made herself out to be the victim. That her not seeing me when she was with her previous two boyfriends was complete bollocks.
It's the final sentence that has made me so angry. She said "Just forget it Emma. Friendship is obviously bollocks to you anyway".
What the fucking fuck?!!! Is she serious?! After everything? Anyway, I replied telling her that yes it was funny, wished her good luck with her life and all the very best. Her number has been deleted from my phone and she has been removed from my friends list on Facebook.
Here comes the question - Am I in the wrong? Am I such a terrible friend?
None of it makes any real sense at all. We've gone from being like sisters to nothing in less than half a year. It upsets me but riles me at the same time